At some point during my research, I came across the term "gender fluid." Reading those words was a revelation. It was like someone tore a layer of gauze off the mirror, and I could see myself clearly for the first time. There was a name for what I was. It was a thing. Gender fluid. Sitting there in front of my computer--like I am right now-- I knew I would never be the same. I could never go back to seeing it the old way; I could never go back to not knowing what I was. But did that glorious moment of revelation really change anything? I don't know. Sometimes, I don't think so. I may have a name for what I am now--but I'm just as confused and out of place as I was before. And if today is any indication, I'm still playing out that scene in the toy store--trying to pick the thing that will cause the least amount of drama. And not having much success. Jeff Garvin
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  1. Remembering that moment stirs something inside -- anger, at first, and then a deep, hollow sadness that ripples through me in its own spiderweb pattern.

  2. Look. I don't expect you to spill your guts to me. Your business is your business. Dress how you want to dress. <span style="margin:15px; display:block"></span>Let people wonder. Fuck 'em."I smile. Solo raised a finger. <span style="margin:15px; display:block"></span>"But you've got to stop looking for a fight...

  3. I can't blame you for trying to categorize me. It's a human instinct. It's why scientists are, to this day, completely flabbergasted by the duck-billed platypus: it's furry like a mammal, but lays eggs like a bird. It defies conventional classification. I AM THE PLATYPUS...

  4. So, first, I want you to know that everybody experiences some level of anxiety. It's a normal human response to stress. It's like your body's smoke alarm. If there's a fire, you want to know so you can put it out or call 9-1-1, right?”...

  5. The first thing you're going to want to know about me is: Am I a boy, or am I a girl?

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